Cold Hard Bitch Blonde Ale Extract Beer Recipe Kit


A Bitchin' Blonde That Will Rock Your World!

Recipe Style: Blonde Ale Extract Beer Recipe Kit 

ABV: 5.1%
IBU: 61

What does this beer taste like?

Our Cold Hard Bitch Blonde Ale Extract Beer Recipe Kit is refreshing and easy-drinking, with a light and crisp body. The hop bitterness is moderate to high, featuring the American hop varieties Azacca, Centennial and Simcoe, which provide flavors of citrus, pine, and tropical fruits. The malt backbone is clean and simple, with a subtle sweetness that balances out the hop bitterness and lingering hop flavor. A great beer for those who enjoy hoppy brews but want something lighter and more sessionable.

And now for the possibly funny, possibly serious, possibly irreverent flowery description....

Your lawn stretches before you like the endless Sahara and your mower rattles your bones while the dust settles on your tongue and the sun bakes your brain like a blast furnace, and as you make that final pass, you are ready for a cold one, but not some typical "lawnmower" beer, because let's face it, most lawnmower beers are served with a side dish of sissypants. No, you want a real beer that's golden, crisp, clean and drinkable but has enough hop flavor and bitterness to kick your ass into next week! Well, do you realize that this brew has FIVE HUNDRED PERCENT more hoppiness than your regular lawnmover beer? Damn right, and that's the point! It's one hundred degrees, man, and you want a beer with big hops that you can chill so damned cold that it will make your fillings ache as a precursor to a brain-freeze so epic that your eyes will roll into the back of your head, the mosquito feeding upon your scalp will infarct, and you'll release a sigh so pleasurable that the karmic imbalance will cause a planetary misalignment! For a demonstration, serve this beer to your weenie neighbor drinking his "Schlub Light" and watch him scream, "Oh, that's a bitch!" and go cry to mama. In a world of beer-weenies, having good taste is a tremendous burden, so serve it hard, and serve it cold!

All About American Blonde Ale

American Blonde Ale is a beer style that originated in the United States and is a variation of the classic Blonde Ale style. It is a light-bodied beer with a pale to golden color, and a clean, crisp flavor profile that emphasizes the use of American hops.

American Blonde Ales typically have a moderate hop bitterness and aroma, with notes of citrus, pine, and floral flavors. They also have a mild to moderate malt character, with a slight sweetness that balances the hop bitterness. Some American Blonde Ales may also have added fruit or spice flavors, such as apricot or honey, to create a more complex and unique flavor profile.

Compared to Belgian Blonde Ales, American Blonde Ales are typically less spicy and more straightforward in flavor. They are also often lighter in body and alcohol content, making them a popular choice for a sessionable beer that can be enjoyed during social events or outdoor activities.

Overall, American Blonde Ales are a refreshing and easy-to-drink beer that pairs well with a variety of foods, from grilled meats and vegetables to spicy dishes and salads. They are a great choice for those who enjoy a lighter beer with a moderate hop flavor and aroma.