The Crimson Abomination Red I.P.A.
A shameless bitter, hoppy-red beast!
Avert your eyes and look away from this ghastly sight. How dare they toy with nature, offend our sensibilities, and place before us a red IPA. Why, if we go down this road-what's next? Black IPAs? Imperial IPAs! We must stand firm and demand normality! Our IPAs must be pale. We must have malt. We must have hops. Everything neat and in order. Not like this shameless blushing beast luring us in with its crimson-red goodness and then smacking us with an aggressive face full of hop bitterness before placating us with a supportive backbone of malt. If this indiscretion is not enough, it has the audacity to finish with a buoyant expression of citrusy, piney and floral hop flavor and aroma! Enough is enough! These violations of natural law must stop, and they must stop here! So stand beside me in deference and turn your nose up to this abomination of a red IPA!