Whiny the Youngster Imperial IPA
Whaa! Oh, poor baby. What’s the matter? Eight ounces of hops not enough for you? How about nine? Well, quit your whining, because we’ll pacify you with a full ten ounces of hops in a five gallon batch. Yeah, that’s right, and you can change out of that stinky diaper and snuggle into your big boy training pants, because you’re in the big league now. But slow down—let’s tie on your little bibby-boo-boo, because we can see you drooling with the thought of that delectable malt and delicate caramel being absolutely pounded into a pulp by this ridiculous amount of hops. Oh, stop your sniffling, because your nose will be so overwhelmed with the resinous eruption of citrus, pine and all sorts of sundry pungent floral flavors that we’ll have to shove a pacifier in your mouth to shut you up. So don’t come crying to us when you’ve made poopy in those underpants—just pour yourself another cold one and feel yourself disappearing into a humulone haze so thick that it’s sure to soothe you more than your little teddy bear or fuzzy baby blankie and pacify even the whiniest amongst us.