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  • extract
  • allgrain
Stupid Brain Barleywine

A brain-rotting thing of beauty!

2 Stage:  Yes
ABV:  11.4
Color:  14
Final Gravity:  1.027
IBU:  94
Original Gravity:  1.114
Ready In:  20 Weeks (You're too weak to wait!)
Starter:  Definitely!

Head: “Listen up, you stupid brain.  My head here has been giving you a free ride for a lotta years, and now it’s time for you to pull your own weight.”  Brain: “Okay, so what’s the plan?”  Head: “See that pint there?  Make my hand do a quick-like lifting motion to my mouth.  And aim well!”  Brain: (Suspicious) “I don’t know.  What’s in it for me?”  Head: “It’s a lovely cup of amber goodness filled with healthy, brain-stimulating nutrients.”  Brain: “Well, I can’t say no to that, ha ha!” (Drinking) “Hold on—I taste rich sweet maltiness and a chewy, bready caramel flavor that’s now giving way to big, resiny bitterness and crazy, citrusy hop flavor!  Oh my god—what’s that?  Big alcohol?  It’s a trick, it’s a trick!”  Head: “Ha ha ha!  Now that I’ve subdued you with liquid anesthesia, I am in control!”  Brain: (Desperate) “No, please….  I’m having trouble seeing that pint!”  Head: “Just shut up and put on those beer goggles, and everything will look better.”  Brain: (Woozy) “Funny…, everything does look better.”  Head: “Excellent.  Now, ease that pint up to my mouth again and take a big swig, because we just cut the brake line to sanity.”  Brain: (Acquiescent) “Okay.”  Head: (Smirking) “Stupid brain.”


Priming Option