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  • extract
  • allgrain
Get Wrecked, Noob! Imperial Pilsner (Ale Version)

So refreshing and delicious that a noob would drink a six-pack!

Recipe Size::  5 Gallons
Original Gravity:  1.076
Final Gravity:  1.014
ABV:  8.2%
Color:  6 SRM
IBU:  57
Ready In:  7 Weeks
Starter:  Good Idea
2 Stage:  Optional

For today’s lesson, open your textbooks to page 1: How to Spot a Noob 101.  In the noob’s natural habitat, you will witness this curious creature performing a variety of common tasks while employing extraordinary levels of ridiculousness, such as stirring a can of paint with a pair of pliers, changing the car’s oil with antifreeze, and staring straight into a clogged toilet after tossing in a cherry bomb.  You will also witness the noob chugging down an entire frosty liter of this delicious Imperial Pilsner, but at 8.2% alcohol, we will now witness our poor noob slurring his speech, stumbling a zigzag line and falling backwards behind the couch, where he will slumber peacefully until morning.  Of course, we can’t fault the noob’s great taste, because this hearty brew is rich and complex, with a luxurious malt character deftly balanced with smooth bitterness and the delightfully long finish of floral and spicy hops, which goes down with remarkable ease and thus explains our noob behind the couch.  So remember: don’t look down on our beloved noobs, because these inexperienced buffoons have been providing us an endless source of entertainment and helping to make us all look better since the beginning of time.

Optional Ingredient: If you would like to add a citrucy variation to the beer, then choose your favorite citrus peel below!


Yeast

Priming Option

Citrus Peel (Optional)

$39.99